I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
