only you would photoshop your dick
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
