I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
