did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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