She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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