I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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