no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
