So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
