I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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