I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
