Pappa wants mamma naked
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
