bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
did you just send me my own nude
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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