from now on my penis is your penis
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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