Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
