New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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