dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you never un-have a 4some
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
