It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
