at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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