upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
