just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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