Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
