thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
