I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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