just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize