Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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