I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You pole danced in your parka.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
