he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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