I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
