So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nutella sex= disaster
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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