i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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