its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
