Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
