we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
