why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
