and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
