one two three fourrrrnication!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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