Yo dont text me then not text me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
