well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
