I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
