also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
