Can Purell be used as lube?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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