so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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