So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
