Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
