I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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