I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
