Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
