If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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