thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
