Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize