absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
