i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
