Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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