your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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