And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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