why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
