I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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