People in love make me want to vomit
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
